Welcome to the fall TV season, 2011. There are a whole lot of underwhelming new shows, a few that might be worth checking out, and a bunch of returning favorites.
The ground rules: I'm only writing about the shows I care about, or if I have something particularly snotty to say about something I don't actually care about. If you want a rundown of all the fall shows, go buy Entertainment Weekly or something. They get paid to look at all the crap. Also, this is mostly network. I'll throw in cable if I remember it as I go. As with previous years, I'll go day by day, with airtime and premiere dates in parens after the title of the show. So without further ado, here's your fall preview, a la C.
Monday: The big noisemaker of a new show on Monday nights is Fox's Terra Nova (8:00, Sept. 26). I'd love to tell you what it's about, but my brain short circuits somewhere around the word dinosaurs. It starts in the future, and then sends people back in time to create a new human settlement. I'm choosing not to think too hard about what that means as far as timey-wimey stuff goes. I'm just hoping it's good. It's taken them forever to get the pilot in to the critic's hands because the effects were taking forever to finish. I believe we're not getting a 22 episode season out of it, but I'm going to sign up for the first couple episodes at the very least. It's up against the juggernauts of reality TV The Sing Off and Dancing With the Stars as well as How I Met Your Mother (which I gave up on last season). The 10:00 hour on Mondays is crowded with returning favorites Castle (10:00, Sept. 19) and Hawaii Five-0 (10:00, Sept. 19) going up against new arrival The Playboy Club (10:00, Sept. 19), which looks like enough of a train wreck that I kinda want to watch. Mostly I'm dying to see how, as the network claims, The Playboy Club is 'empowering' to women. Just. No. But it is set in Chicago in the 60s, and that's appealing to me. So I'm completely torn, except that I've already got Castle and H5-0 to watch, so I'll probably catch this one on repeats. Or, you know, never. The only other returning show that some of you might care about is House (9:00, Oct. 3). I find I care absolutely nothing about House anymore.
Tuesday: The main returning show on Tuesday nights is Glee (8:00, Sept. 20). I'm through with Glee on every level. I don't know why I watched it in the first place, and I've finally given it up. There's a new comedy on after Glee called The New Girl (9:00, Sept. 20) that's been getting some buzz. If you're lacking comedies in your TV diet, it might be worth checking out. There's one new drama on Tuesdays that I'm thinking about checking out called Ringer (9:00, Sept. 13), which is an evil-twin drama starting Sarah Michelle Gellar. There's also a cop drama on CBS called Unforgettable (10:00, Sept. 20) about a detective who has hyperthymesia (she can't forget anything, like, ever) that might be a solid procedural. Other than that Tuesday's got nothing on offer. Spend it catching up on your Monday shows.
Wednesday: The big returning show for me here is Survivor: South Pacific (8:00, Sept. 14). They're once again bringing back two veteran players, the twist this time being that neither one has ever even come close to winning. Redemption Island still exists, but they've promised no multi-person duels this time. The other show I want to watch in that same time slot is a new comedy called Suburgatory (8:30, Sept. 28). I don't know much about it, but I'm watching it solely because Alan Tudyk is in it. I hope it's good. Both of these shows are up against what Fox is hoping is the next big reality thing, The X Factor (8:00, Sept. 21). This is, I'm pretty sure, the show in the UK that brought us Susan Boyle among other weird pop culture things. It's more of a talent show than American Idol, but the idea is sort of the same. Either way, the degree to which I don't care is astronomical. CBS's flagship CSI (10:00. Sept. 21) moves to Wednesday night at 10:00 this year, Laurence Fishburne leaves the show, and Ted Danson arrives on the scene as the new head guy. I'm sure I'll keep watching.
Thursday: Thursday returns one of my favorite shows on TV, The Big Bang Theory (8:00, Sept. 22) on CBS. There are also three new dramas on Thursday night. Well, I say new, I mean one new and two reboots of classic shows. The one new show is called Person of Interest (9:00, Sept. 22). It's exec produced by J.J. Abrams and stars Jim Caviezel and Michael Emerson (Ben Linus from Lost). The premise is something about being able to predict crimes, but looks better than Minority Report did. It looks intriguing and I'll be tuning in. The first remake of note on Thursdays is Charlie's Angles (8:00, Sept. 22). I'm still sort of in disbelief that they went there, but you never know. It could be good. The other remake is Prime Suspect (10:00, Sept. 22), based on the original British show starring Helen Mirren. I'm not familiar with the original, but I'm contemplating checking this one out.
Friday: My favorite drama on TV is back on Friday nights. I seriously cannot wait for the return of Fringe (9:00, Sept. 23). If you haven't been watching, you've got a little over two weeks to catch up. Go. Now. Chuck (8:00, Oct. 21) moves to Friday for its fifth and final season, which I believe is going to be a 13 episode order. CSI:NY (9:00, Sept. 23) is on at the same time as Fringe and I'll probably keep watching just because I love the ridiculous things they make Gary Sinise snarl out. The other show I'm kind of interested in on Friday nights follows Chuck and is up against Fringe and CSI:NY, so it's pretty much got no hope of survival. It's called Grimm (9:00, Oct. 21), you know, like the fairy tales, and it's a sort of supernatural cop show. Could be interesting. If Chuck and CSI:NY are on repeats the night it starts, I'll probably check it out.
Saturday: As usual, nothing. I mean other than wall-to-wall college football, which is where I'll be through November.
Sunday: Well, there's The Simpsons (8:00, Sept. 25), coming back for its 23rd season. There are two new dramas, both on ABC that might merit some attention. First is another fairy tale show called Once Upon a Time (8:00, Oct. 23). The other is another period piece set in 1963 called Pan Am (10:00, Sept. 25). For those of you too young to remember, Pan Am was an airline. The show is about the flight attendants back when they were called stewardesses and had to be hot chicks. It stars Christina Ricci among others, and looks like it could be entertaining.
The networks already have some interesting shows spooled up for us at midseason (and when 90% of the new shows fail), so stay tuned for that.
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